I saw her do this. Just another Bitch from Texas.

Awesome...

Back in the day, I did boo coo Nunchaku. I use to be quite proficient with two of 'em. I started "practicing again". I might be moving too fast too soon, because I just hit my elbow so fucking hard I was down on my knees in pain. Problem is...I tagged the same elbow I did last week. It was nowhere near healed.

Damn...that hurt...really really hurt.

Anyway, cool thing about the sticks is they can make a 4 footer equal to a 7 footer.

Always remember...you can't block what you can't see.

That reminds me of a ship (her name was VooDooToo) I passed at night...but that is another story altogether.

Nunchakus are pretty much the ultimate close in weapon...easy to conceal, and as efficient as you want them to be. You want to scare someone...no problem, you want to hurt someone...no problem, you want to kill 'em...no problem.

Whatever...time for a hot bath.

I have always believed that if you don't vote, you can't bitch.

I was having a discussion with my woman, and she said,"that is not entirely correct...if you're not informed, don't vote."

She does have a point.

This is the last living thing in my garden. Bummer, but on the good side I can now till and plant my winter garden. I love this latitude.

...one of these. A stainless (does not really matter if it is stainless or not) .357 is just a plain bad ass ride.

I'd also grab one of these while I was at it.

A Walther PPK is a bad ride as well...just doesn't have the punch of a .357.

Fuck it...get 'em both.

I really don't need either, because Stretch never leaves my side.

I'm just saying!!!

...and road tripping.

Mystery Writers this time around.

I am a huge fan of books on CD. I just acquired 29 Hercule Poirot mysteries (unabridged) by Agatha Christie for some upcoming road trips. Read by David Suchet. Unabridged books on CD are the Catdaddy. Only way to go. I also picked up "Art of War" by Sun Tzu, and if you haven't read that....you need to...just for the hell of it. Great, practical, book.

I have many more books on CD, and I've been lending them out on a regular basis. Only way to go. If you're interested...drop me a line...if I don't get 'em back...Yabu will come a looking for you. I will be more than happy to share them with friends.

Seriously, I've turned many hours of driving into a whole new experience. A good book in the CD, a GPS on the dash...you can't go wrong and you can't miss your target.

A good book is like a good woman...you can read her more than once...no problem.

Bwahahahahahah!!!!!

This is a picture of my woman right after I bailed her ass out of jail in Morocco

Fortunately for her / us, it wasn't as risky to travel under an American Passport back then. Anyway, we broke for cover and flew to Germany on the first available flight.

You might wonder why she was detained...I'll never tell, but I will say it was not drugs. She is quite resourceful, quite fast, able to think on her feet, and not afraid to take risks. Good person to have around,,,and she can also cook like you wouldn't believe...among other things.

I'm a lucky man.

From the Inbox:

There was a chemistry professor in a large college that had some Exchange students in the class. One day while the class was in the lab the Prof noticed one of the exchange students, a young man, kept rubbing his back and stretching as if it hurt. The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his back. He had been shot while fighting the communists in his native country who were trying to overthrow his country's government and install a new communist government. In the midst of his story he looked at the professor and asked a strange question, "Do you know how to catch wild pigs?"
The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line. The young man said this was no joke, "You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come everyday to eat the free corn. When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming. When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence. They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side. When the pigs, who are used to the free corn and walls, start to come through the gate to eat, you slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd. Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They a re so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity."
The young man then told the professor that is exactly what he sees happening to America . The government keeps pushing us toward Communism/Socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine, drugs, etc. while we continually lose our freedoms - just a little at a time.
One should always remember there is no such thing as a free Lunch!
Also, you can never hire someone to provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself. If you see that all of this wonderful government "HELP" is a problem confronting the future of democracy in America , you might want to send this on to your friends. If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life, then you will probably delete this email, but God help you when the gate slams shut!

I sure as hell didn't know this.

Place a penny in the most shallow tread groove with Lincoln's head down. See the top of his head? The tire should be replaced.

Tire (and vacuum cleaner) salesmen never cease to amaze me.

...and I ain't talking about sport fucking.

I happen to drive an automobile that feels as comfortable at 150 mph as making love to a beautiful woman without a rubber...but you do need some nice "real deal" tires. Better to be safe than sorry...right?

So, today I put a new set all around...took that bitch to 145...and everything was cool...sweet. I guess you get what you pay for....although when I signed the tab...I felt like I'd spent the night with Velociman.

Seriously...I'm ready to slow dance...

...I do.

Never take your eyes off her right hand...Never Ever.

It is, what it is...

In response to this post, my woman said, "yes, you're crazy" The worst thing that could happen is if he was assassinated on U.S. soil. We should wait until his outbound flight clears U.S. airspace...and then shoot him down.

I love the way she thinks...I really do.

The Ahmadinejad Code

...According to Israel's ambassador, inviting Ahmadinejad to speak is the equivalent of "inviting Hitler to [speak] in the 1930s," because "appeasing fanatics and granting them legitimacy leads to genocide and war"...

We live in a free country, and I thank everyone, from the bottom of my heart and soul, who enable and support this freedom....but I can't believe we're going to let the psycho Ahmadinejad into our country. This nut case is as charismatic as Adolf Hitler, and just as evil. This piece of shit is dedicated to the destruction of our values, morals, and way of life...not just the complete annihilation of Israel, all Jews, the USA...but everyone who is not Muslim....and the fucking New York Times is taking him to lunch...WTF...

Now this bastard says he will not push to visit Ground Zero...WTF is going on? He is a sworn enemy of America, and we're going to give him the VIP treatment.

I understand all about the United Nations, but there should be some limitations. Fuck the United Nations...Fuck the ignorant Left..does the Left not realize that without International Security nothing Domestic matters?

Wouldn't it be great if he was assassinated while in the country of his most hated enemy? I don't care if it was a point blank double tap while dining with the traitors at the NYT, or if it was 2000 yard shot...or even a Soviet Umbrella.

Bottom line: The world would be a better place with Bozo Ahmadinejad dead, and we have the opportunity, and we should take advantage of it.

Think I'm crazy?

Everyone has had cottonmouth before...like the morning after you've had way to many cold beverages the night before...but that is not what I'm talking about...I'm talking about a pissed off Water Moccasin.

When I was a young kid, we had a pretty good-sized stream over the hill in the neighborhood. The boys and me dammed it up, and created a three / four foot pool about 30X30 feet. It was in the middle of the woods, and that was one of our places. We had a tree house and everything that goes with it. Very cool. We even had codes.

All of us had our own pellet guns, but they don't do you much good when you're swimming naked or not. They were all on the bank.

Anyway, we're all naked splashing around in our private lake when Jimbo yells, "snake over there". I looked just in time to see a big-ass, 3-4 foot Cottonmouth slide off the bank into the water. This fucker was not afraid of us at all...in fact; I think it was pissed off because it started swimming straight towards me. They're much faster than you think. I'm backing up towards the bank as fast as possible, but realized I couldn't make it before this fucking crazy snake made it to me. I swear to the Maker I was actually worried. I thought to myself, "where am I going to be bitten, and will it kill me?

If anything you experience goes into slow motion...think fast, because it is just an illusion.

Some of my buddies had made it to the bank...they realized the predicament I was in, and while they were grabbing their guns...Billy tossed a Louisville Slugger to me.

Thank you Billy...you bought me all the time I needed. I grabbed that bat and started swinging like a wild man, all the while trying to get out of the water.

This damn snake was coming after my ass. I was his or her closest target.

Seriously, I was really worried.

I yelled, throw me a baseball glove.

The next thing I heard was five or six shots, then pump...pump...pump...pump...reload...and more shots.

To this day, I cannot believe that my buddies were able to shoot a fucking Water Moccasin, swimming zig-zag for my ass...with pellet guns. I cannot believe they hit it.

All in all, I say they shot that bastard about thirty times.

Hell, after we fished it out, and it was way long dead...I shot that fucker myself...just because I knew the code.

We skinned it and hung it above the entrance to our tree house.

To this day, I believe Jimbo has it ...problem is...Jimbo died, so I'm gonna have to get up with his sister and see if we can find it. This is something that needs to be hanging in the Brier Patch.

Bottom line: from a child's point of view...this was one of the first times I understood "FEAR"

Ripped from Elisson, who ripped it from Denny, who stole it from someone else.

If you look closely at the picture above, you will note that all the Marines pictured are bowing their heads. That's because they're praying.

This incident took place at a recent ceremony honoring the birthday of the corps, and it has the ACLU up in arms. "These are federal employees", says Lucius Traveler, a spokesman for the ACLU, "on federal property and on federal time. For them to pray is clearly an establishment of religion, and we must nip this in the bud immediately."

When asked about the ACLU's charges, Colonel Jack Fessender, speaking for the Commandant of the Corps said (cleaned up a bit), "Screw the ACLU.""GOD Bless Our Warriors, Send the ACLU to France"

What's wrong with the picture? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

If, for some reason, you would like to challenge me...feel free. I love the thrill of he hunt chase.

You might ask why I'm talking about the hunt...or the chase....Just had about a two-hour conversation with my "Best Man".

Life is good...

If you have no friends...you have nothing.

I'm just saying!!!!

Got myself a shortwave radio. This ought to be interesting...someone told me I needed to climb a fucking tree to take full advantage of it. Is this guy a fiend or enemy?

Damn!!!

Did you know in North Carolina you can get a permit to carry a Concealed Crossbow? I'm going to need a bigger overcoat.

Legal Overview: Right-To-Carry Law Type: Shall Issue The North Carolina General Assembly enacted a concealed handgun law that allows qualifying citizens of North Carolina the opportunity to obtain a permit to carry a concealed handgun. This law became effective on December 1,1995, and requires that the permit be secured from the sheriff of the permittee's county of residence. Once issued, the permit is valid throughout the state for a period of five years, unless it has been revoked. Crossbows are also considered in this section of the law and must have permits

...but I could get this bitch slow dancing if need be.

I know you know what I mean.

A question:

I need a .22 caliber rifle. A good one...one that keeps going and going like the fucking Energizer Bunny. Money is really not an issue, but reliability and stability is.

What are my options?

Do I need a scope?, and if so...what power?

Y'all help me out with this one.

Thanks...

I know one other person who has a Harrier Jump Jet in their kitchen.

That would be Dash Riprock

We are the club...plain and simple. It is one bad-ass ride...and loud.

All I can say is "one taste of the bait is worth the pain of the hook."

Bwahahahahahah!!!!

Can you imagine if IBM didn't abandon the development of OS/2? One of the biggest mistakes IBM ever made. I used OS/2 in a professional and personal environment beginning in 1988 all the way through Merlin, or Warp, in 1994. As a matter of fact, Windows was more stable running under OS/2 than standalone.

I needed the ability to make at least 8 simultaneous remote connections...on demand and on autopilot. DOS and Windows...no way. UNIX and OS/2...no problem. Obviously, I would've chosen UNIX, but I was employed in a 100% IBM shop and the powers that be thought UNIX was just another four letter word.

I know I often slam Windows, but someone has to stir the pot. Fact of the matter is; I like all operating systems. The newer versions of Windows make great clients, but I would crawl miles over broken glass before I'd ever use if for anything mission critical. I'm not a fan of check box operating systems.

Comparing Windows to OS/2 is like comparing DOS to UNIX.

A brief history of OS/2 can be found here, and the Wiki is here.

...if your still around...shoot me an email, and a case of Bundy.

Half OverProof

I now have systems I support in all time zones in the continental United States. Obviously, I can look at my watch and do the math in my head, but there is something efficient about seeing the different time zones at a glance. In my office, I just installed four wall clocks...Eastern, Central, Mountain, and Pacific) from west to east by time zone. I synced them to the minute, but the seconds are just a hair off, so, instead of one click per second, it's 4 unsynchronized clicks per second (and a half). I'm going to have to replace them with clocks with silent sweep second hands of I'll be in the fucking nut-house soon.

I liken this to Chinese Water Torture

There is a whole lot of chaos in the world now...We are under attack from all angles. This is war newly defined, and our enemy knows no borders. We must win at all costs, but to do that...we must all band together, or kill all the Democrats. I say Bwahahahahahah, but the fact of the matter is...if we elect a Democrat in 2008...we're all fucked.

Our five main problems are:

1. Islam
2. The Left
3. Illegal Imigrants
4. Drugs. Anything that must be processed, or any derivative of anything that results in white powder.
5. Freeloaders

I know, I know...the list could go on and on and on and on......

Now, having said this...I believe the following quote to be true.

War is cruelty. There is no use trying to reform it. The crueler it is, the sooner it will be over.

- General William Tecumseh Sherman

Anyway, I'm taking a road trip...be back later.

This Bitch needs to die.

That is all.

Just a little contrast.

Elvis Hound Dog

Jimi Hound Dog

For the hell of it.

I just slapped Parallels on my new iMac. Why, you might ask...I need the ODBC drivers that connect my database with Access...easy way out. I don't have the time to slow dance...I need to glide one in right now.

I need quick solutions...no time to fuck around...no time to fuck around with anything. The shit has to work from the get-go. No time to tune.

I installed the latest and greatest version of Microshit Vista and a full clip of latest and greatest Office. I need Access to move data into Excel. I know I know...I really don't care, but I don't have time to fuck with it.

Bottom Line: This new Windows piece of shit Operating System is more stable running under a Virtual machine under MAC/OS, than it is running standalone on an Intel box.

I'm just sayin'

I swear to the Maker...*NIX rocks...Fuck Windows.