I’ve been fortunate enough to meet him and him.

I wish I could write like this.

Powerful, and affirming, is an understatement.

I'm just saying.

A large mug of dark roast coffee, with two shots of espresso. After a couple of these, you are ready. I don’t know for what, but you are ready.

I have a female relative I don’t care for. Actually, I can’t stand that bitch, so I’m going to send her a box of dog biscuits, and blame it on the Red Eye.

In 1614, John Napier discovered the logarithm, which made it possible to perform multiplications and divisions by addition and subtraction. (ie: a*b = 10^(log(a)+log(b)) and a/b = 10^(log(a)-log(b)).)

And so it began:

When I was a young boy, at about the time my father was teaching me to play Chess, I took up the Slide Rule. I was curious as to what my father was doing with this strange looking instrument, and I was determined to learn to play it, and I did. Before calculators were invented, and I could afford one, I used my slide rule every day of my life.

When my father died, I inherited his, and every time I slide it out of the case, it brings back fond memories.

I’ve been dated by technology.

Christina spanked it with Chapter Four. The plot thickens.

If you need to catch up:

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Someone gave me a bottle of "Missouri" Wine.

This shit is worse than North Carolina wine, if that’s possible.

Sorry, I had to “pour it out”, because it was awful, but rest assured, I’ll put a candle in the bottle.

You never know.

...What changes with the Gaza withdrawal and the fence is that terrorism as a reliable weapon, a constant threat, a strategic asset, ceases to exist...

Charles Krauthammer has an interesting piece on the Israeli decision to leave Gaza.

I second this.

Enough I say.

Have you ever wondered why small groups of intelligent people seem to make all the difference in the world?

Why is that?

Do you belong to a small, or large group?

I’m just thinking.

Actually, it's much more, and makes Windows much less boring.

There is some cool stuff for Windows, and it is here.

I've been using Object Desktop, and playing Galactic Civilizations since they only developed for OS/2.

Cool stuff, if you understand Windows is not good for anything mission critical.

Windows is more unstable than my mailman.

If that's possible.

I've been seriously down on "Windows" lately, but I've got to tell you; Windows is a piece of shit. Trying to tweak Windows is like crawling over broken glass.

Click…click…checkbox…another checkbox.

Windows XP should be renamed to Windows Dumbass.

Painful.

Yeap...that's right...ODBC drivers suck. Been debugging 'em all day and half the night. I do this often, and it changes every time.

I'll be back later, I hope.

There is nothing like a good night’s sleep. The bedroom is a place to truly live in and enjoy.

A restful and refreshing deep sleep is dependant on many things, but without a comfortable bed, you can’t get one. A good night’s sleep, that is.

I know people who are still sleeping on the same mattress and box springs they’ve had for twenty years, or more. Cheap Asses. Do yourselves a favor, and upgrade the environment in which you should spend, at least, 33% of your time.

A friend of mine has a NASA certified mattress, you know, the one you can put a glass of wine on, jump up and down, and not spill it. I tried it out, and it was too comfortable. I felt like I was a dummy for a concrete mold. I couldn’t roll over; it felt like I was in quicksand or something. This is bullshit. I like an old-fashioned rig like mine, and remember size does matter.

I have a queen size sleigh bed, made of cherry, waist high, that weighs about 8 million pounds. My box springs are tight, and the mattress is the firmest I could find.

On top of that is a goose down feather bed. This is a must.

Sheets: All 100 % cotton, but depending on the season; flannel, T-sheets, or regular. If you haven’t tried T-sheets, you need to get all over ‘em, or in ‘em. It’s like being wrapped in a tee shirt that’s been washed a thousand times. I use the same type of pillowcases, as I do sheets. Some people don’t.

Quilts and Comforters, I’ve got so many to choose from, I can never make up my mind.

People, this is a science.

Cooked or Raw, it doesn't matter to me.

I read this and this, and it made me think of the extreme.

I absolutely love fresh Sushi. I had some down on Pike Street in Seattle the other day that was still doing the wiggle when they brought it out. I mean it was crawling off the plate.

Some good Sake, and some more good Sake. Life is good.

There’s something to be said for eating a meal…that isn’t dead yet.

That's why God invented Wasibi.

My wife wants a crossbow. A real "bad" one, with a scope.

How cool is that?

I'm just saying, again.

Iran denies rumors it has arrested bin Laden

Iran would not arrest bin Laden, but they would provide him with safe haven and help him plan more operations against the West.

FUCK this piece of shit.

"Your new crusade will end, God willing, with the same defeat as its predecessors, but only after you have suffered tens of thousands of dead and the destruction of your economy,"

This motherfucker needs to die!

""...If you, people of the West, think that these cardboard governments are going to keep you safe from our reaction, you are mistaken,..."

Yeap, we need to kill this bastard.

I received a phone call today from a stranger, who really isn’t a stranger, but really is one, if that makes any sense, which it doesn't, but who cares.

It made my day.

Thanks...

Just Damn!

From the Kommentariat, who is across the pond.

I don't know about you, but I'm about sick of the Crescent News Network

They feel the need to "make the news", rather than "report the truth".

A day late.

Have you ever noticed that most critics of *NIX or MAC/OS have never used ‘em?

Hypocrites.

Since I’ve used ‘em all, I’m entitled to my opinion.

Right?

I’m just saying.

One time, I got so sick of dealing with a piece-of-shit Windows PC, I just threw the whole lot out of a third story window and watched it explode in the parking lot.

CPU, monitor, keyboard, printer, and even the mouse. The only hardware I kept were the speakers.

I then went downstairs and pissed on it.

Man, that felt good.

Cell Phone Jammers are illegal for a reason, and I agree, because they interfere with emergency calls. I, like most of you, get really annoyed listening to someone’s stupid ass conversation, but it’s just an annoyance. Not really a big deal. I could care less about what someone orders for dinner, or about what he said, or she said, or anything else. It’s none of my business, but if I had to make a life saving 911 call, and couldn’t because my phone was jammed, then I’d go ballistic.

For example, if someone died because they couldn’t get life saving emergency treatment because an emergency call was jammed, then the owner of the “jammer” should be charged with murder, tried, and convicted. The same holds true for rape, kidnapping, and all the other bad shit going on out there.

Cell phones have become a way of life, and that’s just the way it is. Get over it. The only reason, and I mean the only reason, I have a “land line”, is to serve as a backup means of communicating with my offsite server in case my broadband connection is down.

If I ever catch anyone jamming my cell phone, I’ll probably be brought up on charges.

Tawakalt ala Allah. (I rely on God.)

— Gamil El-Batouti, EgyptAir Flight 990 co-pilot, he repeated this phrase eleven times while shutting off the Boeing 767's engines and pushing the jet into a fatal dive, source NTSB, 31 October 1999.

What’s happening, Gamil? What’s happening? What is this? What is this? Did you shut the engines? Pull. Pull with me. Pull with me. Pull with me.

— Captain Ahmed Mahmoud El Habashy, EgyptAir flight 990, last words, on returning to the cockpit, source NTSB, 13:50 EST 31 October 1999.

There is nothing on the cockpit voice recorder or the flight data recorder to indicate that Flight 990 was intentionally crashed into the ocean.

— Shaker Kelada, EgyptAir's Vice-President for safety, reported in Al-Ahram Weekly, Cairo, 17 August 2000.

Billy's homework assignment is to think of a true story with a moral so he goes home and thinks about it all night and finally has one. The following day, Suzy raises her hand and says, "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."

The teacher asks for the moral to the story. Suzy replies, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket."

Next is Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm, too, and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched. The moral is, don't count your chicks before they are hatched.''

Billy is last to speak. He says, ''My uncle Ted fought in the War in Iraq. His plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed, with only a parachute, a bottle of bourbon, a machine gun, and a machete. As he floated down he drank the bottle of bourbon. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Iraqi soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade broke on his machete, so he killed the last 10 with his bare hands.''

The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story.

Billy replies,

Acidman made me think of Cornbread.

That was cold!

By Elbert Hubbard (1899)

In all this Cuban business there is one man stands out on the horizon of my memory like Mars at perihelion. When war broke out between Spain & the United States, it was very necessary to communicate quickly with the leader of the Insurgents. Garcia was somewhere in the mountain vastness of Cuba- no one knew where. No mail nor telegraph message could reach him. The President must secure his cooperation, and quickly.

What to do!

This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, who has ever lived in Atlanta, has visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who lives in Atlanta, knows anyone who has ever visited Atlanta or anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta, Georgia.

Unfortunately, I need some new tires.

I have a car that’s fun to drive, especially with soft sticky tires. The problem is, Gumby tires only last about 12,000 miles, and they are pricey. You pay at least twice as much, for about a quarter of the mileage. Do the math...it is a self-indulgent luxury necessity.

Sometimes I'm decadent, and I realize you have to pay to play.

WTH, I’m going for it…the stickier the better. I'll worry about it again in 12k miles.

I like doing corners at maximum velocity, if need be.

Makes me feel safe...and it is fun!!!

Better to be prepared, right?

Chapter III of the Blog Noir is up over here.

The kids next door, and one of their playmates, were outside playing with my puppy Stretch this afternoon, when the friend asked, “Why do they call him Stretch?” The youngest one, a cutie pie little girl, replied, “Because that’s his name.”

Don’t you love it?

Russian President Vladimir Putin said that Moscow will continue its nuclear cooperation with Iran and that he is convinced Tehran does not intend to develop atomic weapons.

What? Is he crazy, or just need some cash?

"...The spread of nuclear weapons on the planet does not aid security, it does not strengthen security. The latest steps from Iran confirm that Iran does not intend to produce nuclear weapons and we will continue to develop relations in all spheres, including the peaceful use of nuclear energy," Putin said at a meeting with Iranian National Security Council chief Hassan Rowhani...'

More bullshit here.

I agree with my friend Dash, who believes "...those who yell the loudest about freedom of speech are usually trying to cram some sort of propaganda down our throats..."

He has a good post up on Freedom of Speech, and all this Ward Churchill brouhaha.

Go read it, because his bottom line is downtown.

It won’t be long before there is some preventative maintenance in Iran. I don’t know what the solution is, but I do know, IslamoFascist Iran cannot be allowed to develop a nuclear bomb. Negotiations between the UN and EU are just allowing Iran to buy more time. Fortunately, for all of us, Israel and the US understand this. Unfortunately, so do the Iranians.

Time is running out.

Anyone who believes the following statement is naïve.

Iran's Intelligence Minister Ali Yunesi on Wednesday again denied that his country's civilian nuclear facilities were a cover for an atomic weapons program, saying U.S. satellites were spying on Iran but would find nothing as "we have nothing to hide."

"…we have nothing to hide…"?

Does anyone really believe that?

Iran is sitting atop enough oil to power the region until many generations have come and gone.

We’re at a crucial moment my friends, and it will be interesting to see how this plays out. Whatever happens, it won’t be good, but if Iran gets the bomb, it‘ll be worse. It will be a lose-lose situation. Hell, we might already be in lose-lose mode.

I am not a warmonger, but our options are limited.

I’m just saying….

How do you think this should be handled?

"...It's a semantic thing: No brain, no pain,..."

I’ve always wondered if that squeaking was a cry for help.

I feel better now.

I wish I could take credit for this, but I can’t. At least, I say I can’t…and I’ll go to my grave sticking by that story.

Many years ago, a good friend of mine moved to Boston. Obviously, moving from the South, to Boston, was guaranteed to be traumatic. And it was, but that’s another story.

He had an old Southern home with an extraordinary upstairs bathroom that had a tub with feet, and a sink with one leg, which had a foot with toes. The hot and cold faucet controls were left and right hands. It was, without a doubt, the most interesting bathroom I’d ever used. We did some crazy things in there. I mean, come on, a sink with hands, and a leg and toes. The girls use to paint ‘em foo foo colors…the fingers and toes that is. We even put a cast on that leg one night, and we all signed it. Sick, don’t you think.

My friend had already moved, so we decided to break on in to the other side and, basically, pinch the sink, and ship it to him. It seemed like a good idea at the time. The house was locked, but we had a key. We entered through the back door. Duh!

The next thing I knew, we were upstairs in the bathroom, with flashlights beaming, laughing our asses off, and yanking that damn sink out. I’ll admit I’d never stolen a sink before.

We now have a freestanding sink, but never thought about how to get it down the stairs. No problem…all we need is a 4X4 piece of plywood, and we’ll be good to go. I’m not going to tell you where we got that, but suffice to say, we had to break out the toolbox.

We’re standing at the top of the stairs, doing the math, and dumbass me volunteered to “ride it down”. Stupid.

The plan was: for me to sit in the sink, hold the ropes that we’d attached to everything, and guide it as I was being lowered to the first floor by my faithful buddies.

Break: This damn sink weighed about a thousand pounds.

So: My ass is in the sink…they move me to the top stair…and shit happens.

They: Let go of the lines.

Next: My young ass is riding the sink down the damn stairs, and it only took a couple of seconds before I was unconscious, I think.

Me and the Sink: Crashed through the front door, which was closed and locked with a deadbolt, breaking all the windows and glass panes, and down five steps into the front yard. Man…that hurt.

Next: I was cut and bruised, laying in the damn front yard with a sink, while my friends were laughing so hard they couldn’t come to my aid. Damn!

When I first started racing sailboats, I was assigned to the Sewer. The sewer was mine. All I did was clean up the Italian Feast of Sheets, and pack and repack sails…and get people shit. I was the Boy. I finally determined it was more efficient to launch, and takedown, the Spinnaker out of a huge laundry basket, instead of a bag at the bow. It took me awhile to prove my point, but in the end, my method was adapted. I learned all about knots. Ask my wife. I also learned that the chute is usually launched from the bow for a reason. Bloopers, as well. They met me halfway.

Anyway, we’re in the middle of a leg, and there wasn’t much going on for me, my shit was tight, so I popped myself a cold beverage. Bad move. My good friend, who also happened to be number one, said, “drop that fucking beer, the B-B-Q ain’t started yet…we’ve got boats to pass. Jump the fuck back Jack. Damn! I did as I was asked told, but I threw it at him instead of dropping it. I was lucky; he was too busy to beat my ass.

We passed ‘em all, and won that race.

My smart-ass attitude got me promoted. I was now called to foredeck monkey duty. Physically, I’m the right size, so what could I say. I was ready. Maybe?

Now, let me say, before I go any further, know this. These people, my friends, took this shit seriously. Very seriously. There were groupies waiting for us ‘em, back on shore. They wanted to come in first win, if you know what I mean.

Working the foredeck, in a blow, is dangerous business. If you’re doing an “end-over-to-end” jibe of the spinnaker pole, and number one doesn’t turn the boat to coincide with the swap, you have a major problem. I took a spinnaker pole, powered by the force of nature, full force to the chest several times. I’m lucky I wasn’t killed. If it’d hit me in the head, I’d be dead.

I’ve never sailed without bleeding.

After a couple of years I moved to trimmer, and that was a lot of fun, but if you don’t have a capable foredeck man, you are screwed.

Racing a sailboat is all about teamwork.

Bottom Line: I also like to drive.

It doesn't matter what language you speak, Windows still sucks.

I watched Bullitt (1968) last night, and the famous automobile chases made me remember some of the badass rides I’ve been fortunate enough to drive or own.

I can’t decide which one, was number one. If point A to point B is a straight line, that’s one thing, but if it isn’t, that’s another. Two choices.

Question for y’all.

What are your choices?

I’ve been asked what I’m getting my sweetie for Valentine's Day.

Well, I’ve always been a big fan of Eros, the mischievous, winged child armed with bow and arrows. Mythology says he would shoot anything, Gods and Humans alike. I like his style, so I’m getting her one of these.

There you have it.

East Coast - West Coast

I don't know what to say. That is reality.

My friend KEY has cut it tight with Chapter Two of the Blog Noir.

Chapter One is here.

The sealed envelope leaves it wide open.

Friday Booze Photoblogging

Thanks to The Blade Straight White Guy.

"Look at that pig Angel Eyes."
Tuco

Velociman on chance.

Statement for Dash Riprock.

I have the right to make up words.

Austin Texas is one of the boogieingest towns I've ever been in, and I've been to a bunch.

...this weekend. I’ve had a bunch of people in town all week, and I’m worn out. I had to get out of my groove to accommodate all of ‘em, and now, I need to ease back into it.

I’m going to hang with my beautiful wife, and not do a damn thing. Well, that’s not entirely true. I’m going to read some blogs, start a new novel, cook some great meals, watch some DVD’s, lay the rap on her, play with my puppy, and try to become one with an eggplant.

Do you ever feel like that? Hell, I might not even start a car.

Sometimes no plan is the best plan.

I'm with Acidman on this. I done got to get me some of these.

If the US Air Force was in charge of naval aviation, you'd never have to club down.

Ripped from Neptunus Lex via the Dog Snot Boys.

Ann Coulter on Ward Churchill.

"...Churchill has gone from claiming he is one-eighth Indian "on a good day" to claiming he is "three-sixteenths Cherokee," to claiming he is one-sixty-fourth Cherokee through a Revolutionary War era ancestor named Joshua Tyner. (At least he's not posing as a phony Indian math professor.) A recent investigation by The Denver Post revealed that Tyner's father was indeed married to a Cherokee. But that was only after Joshua's mother –- and Churchill's relative -– was scalped by Indians..."

Twenty-five of us went to a wine tasting yesterday afternoon, which turned into more of a wine drinking than a tasting. Since I was responsible for putting this little outing together, my only requirement was no French wine. I am still enthusiastically boycotting the spineless froggies. Anyway, we consumed mass quantities of the following, and they all tasted pretty good toward the end, I think.

*Lurton Pinot Gris (Argentina)
*Kiona Chardonnay (California)
*Morgan Chardonnay (California)
*Concannon Petite Sirah (California)
*Warburn Shiraz (S.E. Australia)
*Casa de la Ermita Crianza (Spain)
*Terra Valentine Cabernet Sauvignon (California)

Afterward, we loaded up a couple of mixed cases and came over to my house for dinner and more wine tasting. Everything was moving along just fine until we started doing shots of Henry McKenna #253 barreled on March 16, 1994. That is some mellow whiskey, but too many shots of anything is a bad idea, unless you like feeling like you’re in outer space the following day, which I do, and am, I think.

On a seemingly unrelated matter, and for all you bourbon drinkers, remember this:

The French own Wild Turkey.

Who is it?

You must get all over this.

Chapter One is Here.

Christina can put a team together.

These folks are way outta my league.

I don’t know shit about Cowboy Boots, but this is true.

I went looking for a nice pair, out west, with my good friend from Texas. He advised me to wear the thinnest pair of socks I had, and buy the tightest fitting boots I could stand. He further advised, that after I had ‘em on, I should stand in a creek until they were soaked, and not take ‘em off until they were dry.

I did it.

He was right.

Absolutely the most comfortable pair of “shoes” I’ve ever had.

We're having twenty people over for dinner Wednesday night.

Damn, I need a bigger table house.

Acidman raises an interesting question.

If you had to forfeit one sense, which one would it be?

Sight
Sound
Taste
Touch
Smell

Like him, I'll have to think about this one for a while.

But, if you had to give up one, which would it be?

Or, better yet, if you could only keep one, which would it be?

If you believe this, you are crazy.

Fact: Iran will not be allowed to go nuclear. It just won't happen.

Ask the Israelis.

Anyone who believes that Israel will allow the IslamoFascist terrorist pigs in Iran to develop a nuclear weapon is just plain nuts.

The question is not when, but how soon, Iran will be attacked. I think it will be sooner than later. After all, Israel has some experience in matters like this.

Forget about the United Nations, the Democrats, the French, and everyone else who will "negotiate" until the unthinkable has happened. Forget about them. In the long run, they don't matter. We do. Our children do. Freedom does. The preservation of our way of life does. Progress and education do matter...intelligent human beings do not regress.

The U.S. will play a significant part. Mark my words.

We must support this model, because if we don't, we're all toast.

The Jews understand this. I understand this. Do you?

Some people say, "the U.S. has 'em (nukes), who are they to tell others they can't have 'em?" Well, I'll tell you. The U.S. has no intention of exterminating a race (the Jews), and all other Christians after them. The U.S. has no intention of moving mankind backwards

I am an American, and I was raised with options. It was my choice, and I chose these values...they were not forced upon me.

The IslamoFascist Goatfuckers will not win.

I'll bet anyone, that Iran does not obtain a nuclear weapon. Any takers?

Anyway, enough of this bullshit...I'm going to go do a shot and curl up with my puppy and read a book.

Home PC Security 101

Who loves Windows?

The bad guys: the virus writers, the hackers, the crackers, and the black hats.

Why?

Because Windows is so full of holes they can easily break in to an unsecured Windows based PC. In fact, there are so many ways in; Microsoft continuously issues multiple security updates, which should probably be a new release of the operating system, not a patch. Also, be aware that sometimes, these patches break more than they fix.

Since about 99% percent of desktop users run Windows, it makes sense that 99% of the bad guys write exploits for that platform. Windows is not going to go away anytime soon, so you must deal with it.

An “always on” Internet connection is the only way to go, but there are bad things out there. Patiently waiting and listening.

An unprotected Windows based PC brought online (broadband) is generally compromised within 10 minutes, and the majority of people are unaware that an attack has occurred.

There are a few things you can must do.

1. Firewall
2. Antivirus Software
3. Spyware Detection Software

I use a dedicated PC running Linux for a firewall because I’m serious about this shit, but if you are going to use a software firewall that is not part of your virus protection, I recommend downloading it to another machine.

I also recommend downloading whatever virus protection you choose to another machine.

Do the same for spyware detection programs.

Save these, and install them on the machine before you bring it online.

Boot the machine with an online connection, and immediately update your antivirus software. Chances are, you have enough protection for a few minutes. Do the same for spyware, and then scan for viruses and spyware. Next, download and apply all the Windows security patches.

Remember, antivirus software is only effective with the latest pattern files, so whatever flavor you choose; ensure that it supports automatic updates. Depending on how active the bad guys are you might receive updates multiple times a day.

Once you are up and running with a clean machine, there is no reason to ever turn it off. Leave it on and let all the antivirus automatic updates run behind the scenes. I do not recommend allowing Windows patches to update automatically; this can be a problem. If your spyware detection is not part of your antivirus program, update it frequently.

Check the logs generated by these programs, and you will be amazed how many people are trying to hack your machine. Amazed.

Jack talks about it here and here.

I received the following comment to this post, which wasn't even a post; it was a photo.

"I remeber when i was a little one and none of this mattered. All of this fighting in the world is not helping any of us. I just wish that everything was back to normal and we could just smoke weed in the parking lots like we used to. (LOL) :)

I just thought it was funny. There's something to be said for keeping those comments open.

I�m all about passwords. How many do I have? I really don�t know; I�d say between 30 & 40. Do I remember them all? Yes. Are they written down anywhere? No. Could someone guess them? No. Could a cracker program find them? No, doubtful. I�ve tried �em before. My memory works best with patterns. None of my passwords are in any dictionary, in any language, anywhere.

Do I change them often? Yes. Do I remember them when I change them? No, just that I�ve changed them. I remember patterns, and I change patterns.. Does this make sense? No. Does it work? Yes.

That�s the point.

What happens if something happens to me? Well, if it�s the passwords you�re after�you are fucked.

I should probably commit �em to paper, and put �em in the safe.

Oh well.

** Update **

Phone numbers for example...I don't remember the actual numbers...I remember the pattern from the key pad. Wierd!!! I know, but it works for me.

Charlie Daniels responds to the statement made by Ward Churchill defending the rights of Al Qaida.

I agree with him.

Another question.

What is your firearm preference for home defense? And why?

Handgun - pistol or revolver?

Shotgun?

What type of ammunition?

This brings back some memories.

I've had my ass smacked so hard I can still feel it.

I just love it when I type a command at the prompt, and it returns:

Job: "whatever" successfully killed

Of course, I don't know how to unsuccessfully kill anything.

A good friend of mine has some great talking points for Washington Gun Law letters.

Give 'em a read.

In this day and age, everyone, at some point, requires technical support. That’s a fact.

I like to read stupid shit, so, I was trolling around through some online support forums today, when I came across the following:

“Your service has been highly recommended to me, and I was thinking about signing up, but your help desk doesn’t use telephones. You only use email? If I have a question, how can it be answered without talking to a human? Sorry, I’ll take my business elsewhere.”

WTF?

Would you rather dial an 800 number, punch about 97 digits into the keypad, which may or may not connect you to a human, who will probably not know what you’re talking about, and transfer you to another number where you’ll have to repeat the 97-digit deal…

OR

Would you like to send a concise email and get a response that actually solves your problem? Many of these help desk folks can read minds, so the email can be as scattered as your thinking. The number one qualification for help desk people is they must be able to deal with idiots without laughing out loud….the electronic e-mail solution was born for a reason...

I’m just saying

Thanks to the Alternate Voice.

Everyone should read this. It kind of puts things in perspective.

A really bad day of Fishing is always better than a good day at work... Who says ?

SATURDAY

3:00 a.m. Alarm rings
3:30 a.m. Fishing partner arrives and drags my ass out of bed. Pack lunch
and get ready
4:00 a.m. Throw our gear into back of pick-up and leave.
4:10 a.m. Go back to house to get boat.
4:30 a.m. Leave again - this time with boat.
4:45 a.m. Go back to house to get fishing rods.
5:00 a.m. Leave again - pop top on first beer.
5:01 a.m. Spill beer in lap - wide awake now.
6:00 a.m. Arrive at ramp - are #22 in line to launch boat. Drink six-pack
while waiting
7:30 a.m. Back boat and trailer into water - Winch stuck so cut rope and
thumb with knife. - Sew thumb up with fishing line. Drink another
beer.
8:00 a.m. Boat floating away from ramp while partner parks truck and
trailer. Engine won't start - forgot gas.
8:05 a.m. Have to paddle back to shore. - Left paddles in truck. Take off
shirt and shoes to jump in water to pull boat back to shore.
8:06 a.m. Nuts crawl up into belly - Water cold - Real damn cold.
8:10 a.m. Get boat pulled to shore - step on bottle and cut foot.
8:11 a.m. Fishing partner takes me to emergency room to get foot sewn up
and Tetanus shot - drink another beer.
11:00 a.m. Leave emergency room to go back to boat. Stop to get more
beer.
11:45 a.m. Get back to boat with beer - forgot to get the damn gas.
1:00 p.m. Boat gassed and going finally.
1:15 p.m. Get stuck on sand bar near favorite fishing spot. - Drink another beer.
2:00 p.m. Friends come by and pull us off sand bar. Get severe rope burn
on hands and get pulled into water. - Still real damn cold.
2:30 p.m. Get to fishing spot, decide to eat lunch. - Left it sitting on kitchen
counter. Drink another beer.
2:45 p.m. Partner and I make our first cast. - He catches a trophy
smallmouth. - I snag and lose my favorite lure.
3:15 p.m. Partner has caught 6 more fish. - I've caught a cold.
3:30 p.m. Change sides of boat. - Partner catches another trophy
smallmouth. I lose another lure.
3:45 p.m. Partner agrees to let me try his tackle gear after I threaten him
with broken bottle.
4:15 p.m. Partner has caught 6 more fish with my tackle. - I've got a rash
from my wet cold underwear.
4:17 p.m. I lose my balance and fall into the water while trying to throw my
partner overboard. - Water has gotten colder - Nuts smaller.
4:30 p.m. Pull plug on drains of boat to get excess water out where I've
slipped all day. Head back to ramp.
5:15 p.m. Park boat along bank and go get truck and trailer. #10 in line to
load boat. Drink another beer.
6:00 p.m. Barely get boat going and loaded onto trailer due to foot of water
in bottom. - left plugs out.
6:10 p.m. Get shocked hooking trailer lights up. - Drink another beer.
6:30 p.m. Pulled over and given ticket for open beer in truck. Partner
drives rest of way.
7:30 p.m. Get home - go to bed - throw up and cough all night.

Monday: Go to hospital - have pneumonia.
Tuesday: In hospital
Wednesday: In hospital
Thursday: In hospital
Friday: Go home

Saturday:
8:00 a.m. Get up - eat breakfast and drink coffee.
9:00 a.m. Load fishing gear into boat,
9:15 a.m. Hook boat and trailer up to truck.
9:45 a.m. Pull boat to flea market. - Trade everything for backyard
badminton set !