During a campaign tour of the Apache Nation Wednesday, Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry said he had a plan to increase every Native American's income by $40,000 a year. Senator Kerry refused repeated requests for details of his plan. However, he also told the Apaches that during his Senate career, he has voted YES 9,637 times....for every Indian issue ever introduced.

Before his departure, the Apache Tribe presented the Presidential candidate a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, Running Eagle.

After Kerry left, tribal officials explained that Running Eagle is a bird so full of shit it can't fly.

Iraq is now a Sovereign Nation, a nation reborn with American blood. Americans paid the ultimate price for you. We died for your freedom, and we want you to succeed. You must understand this.

Don’t fuck it up.

This is as about as short and sweet as I can say it.

Stretch...No...No...No...Stop...No...Damnit No...Arghhh....Stop.....Good Boy...Good Boy....No...I said No....Stop it....Damnit...Stop...Come...Come Stretch...No...No...Stop it. Damnit, come....Stretch, come....No No No...Stop Damnit....Don't run from me...don't run....Bwahahaha

What are you doing over there?....No Stretch No...I said No....Come Stretch...Come...Damnit...Damnit....No...I said come...Arghghgh!!!

It's a good thing I have a sense of humor!!!, otherwise you'd have heard some Bang Bangs!

...from Saudi Arabia to Save Yourself

Bwahhahaha!

Did you realize that our (The United States) extradition treaty with Mexico permits the Mexican government not to surrender suspected murderers wanted in the U.S. unless U.S. prosecutors waive the death penalty.

This is absolutely ridiculous.

So, commit a crime in the U.S. that carries the death penalty, flee to Mexico, and you’re good to go.

MY NEW PUPPY IS DRIVING ME CRAZY !

...and killing my hammock

...Bejus Donnie, is back.

Enough said!

Al Gore is a Loser.

Did you read this?

Bwahahaha!!!

This guy will just not shut up. What is he trying to prove? I would really like to know.

He is crazy, ya think?

Internet Explorer just plain sucks.

Why You Should Switch to Firefox

Many great features, but Tab-Browsing is downtown.

I agree with King Geoffrey's initiative.

We've got the tools; we should use 'em.

I salute this project.

Excerpt:

...Microsoft co-founder turned investor and philanthropist, Paul Allen is bankrolling the project, joining forces with aviation designer, Burt Rutan, chief of Scaled Composites...

It's the ONLY nice thing I've said about anything Microsoft has done in a long time.

So, I want to thank Microsoft for giving Mr. Allen the cash to pull this off. Aside from that, Microsoft sucks...

Well, a South African has won the U.S. Open, again. I have no problem with that; I like South Africans, but they can’t all putt like Goosen.

As a matter of fact, I went around the track with some friends over the weekend; one is South African, a family man, and a rambling man. I’ll call him the huge ass Rugby Player. Another friend, I’ll call him the Silver Fox who plays smart. Anyway, both of their left knees are trashed, and a golf swing requires two good knees. They play anyway. FYI, the heat index was about 105.

We’re on the green on number 2, and the Silver Fox has a 63 – 73 foot putt. I looked at the line and I can tell you it wiggled more than my new puppy. Two holes, and two beers, and the huge ass Rugby Player says to the Silver Fox who plays smart – “If you make that putt, I’ll jog behind your cart for the next 16 holes.”

The Silver Fox who plays smart drains it. I’ve played many rounds with the Silver Fox who plays smart, and I can tell you I’ve never seen him hit a putt like that. Was it skill, or was it luck? Well, it was both. It took skill just to be out there, and that damn putt was nothing but luck, maybe.

So, the Silver Fox who plays smart lets the huge ass Rugby Player off the hook, and we play on. The huge ass Rugby Player, after another 12 beers, announces that if the Silver Fox who plays smart makes this shot, “I’ll jog behind the cart while carrying both our bags.”

The Silver Fox who plays smart didn’t convert, but we all had a good time.

The Silver Fox who plays smart, and I, had a great evening with our girls.

The huge ass Drunk Rugby Player tapped out.

My Sincere Condolences:

To the family and friends of Paul M. Johnson who was brutally murdered by the IslamoFascist scum who have hijacked a religion and way of life from people who at one time were human. That was then…this is now. These people, this scum, are not worthy of any consideration from civilized people. They should be put down like a rabid dog.

To all of you who were involved in this cowardly act, or who support these radical beliefs, I hope you, and your so-called deity, burn in Hell for eternity.

For all the rest of us, we need to wake up…we are at war. These radical Muslims want to kill us all. It is either they or we; there is no middle ground.

We must adapt, to survive.

Heading for the beach.

Everyone have a good weekend.

More from the Inbox:

Dear Sam:

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Ft. Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two brothers. One currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville, TX for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time "working girl". All things considered, my problem is this: I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who supports John Kerry for President?

All I can say is "your parents need a bigger crop"

BwahHaHaHa!!!!!

Her Blog is up and rolling.

Check it out.

I can be wherever I need to be when the OP Artic Bare arrives.

I'll take a full clip. Half and half.

Please advise.

Everyone deserves a good pair. I’ve had mine for a long time, and I expect I’ll get many more years out of ‘em before they need a tune-up. I do mean a tune up for the soles...the sides and top should last forever. I kid you not.

Another friend and I were traveling in the East Tennessee Mountains about ten years ago, when we came upon a sign in the middle of nowhere that simply said, “Thunderhead Moccasins”. WTF, this was in the middle of nowhere, it was a nice cabin, and so we approached and knocked on the door. We were met by a Dachshund, and an old man who was as curious as the dog, and as we were. After all the simple pleasantries, he determined, that we were there to buy his “one of a kind”, “handmade / cut and sewn” moccasins.

He was right.

He would make us whatever we wanted, in six months. I said with a backlog of six months, business must be good. He said, no, I'll start on ‘em now; it just takes that long to season the hides.

Did they cost a lot of money? Depends on how you look at it. Are they worth it? Yeap! Would I buy another pair? Yeap! Are they the most comfortable pair of footwear I have (with or without socks) ever had? Yeap!

We cut the deal with a handshake, and he got to measuring.

Mine are:

Boar for the soles.
Deer on the inside.
Elk around the outside.
Shark on top.

Best (most comfortable) damn shoes I’ve ever had.

I have a really good friend who lives on the other side of the planet and cannot comment on this blog for legitimate reasons. When he was living in America, we became friends, and had many great debates, both drunk and sober, on many different issues.

I miss those conversations.

He is highly educated, and probably the most well traveled person I’ve ever known. Like I, he is a true patriot (different country), but our political and social beliefs are mostly opposite. As I learned during the initial development of our friendship, there is an art to remaining friends under these conditions. We accomplished this, no problem. I am still impressed.

I ripped Danny Glover and Greg Palast in this post.

My friend asked the following question.

Is it the office that the person held or the person that warrants respect?

The answer is simple if we’re talking about the Office of the President of the United States of America. The “Office” warrants eternal respect, and the individual and their families, whether you agree with them or not, warrant the respect and courtesy of everyone, until buried or cremated. Anyone, with any honor, should recognize the grieving people must have closure, and that attacks on the character of the dead, before closure, are disrespectful. That is a fact of life.

This is just my opinion.

Intensive Care Unit Cage

Yeap, that’s where the Velocipuppy spent the day yesterday, and man, he was in bad shape.

I’ve posted about severe allergic reactions, and life threatening anaphylactic shock allergic reactions in the past; so here’s the Dog version.

My new puppy, Stretch, goes to the Vet for the first time. He gets the nasal spray…sneeze…no problem, then the oral gook, no problem…then the shot in the hip/ass, no problem. I was impressed. I’m thinking how much things have changed since the last time I had a puppy. By then, he’d already snowed all the babes in the office, so I put his wiggly ass in my ride, and we head home.

We’d been home for about two minutes, and his face began to swell. I knew what was happening, so I called the Vet, scooped him up, broke for the car, and hauled ass back to the Dog hospital. They were waiting with open arms. No kidding, his eyes were almost swollen shut and his snout was three times the size it should be; but he was breathing fine, I think.

The nurse rushes him straight back to the ER, and they inject him with an antihistamine and corticosteroid. It works, but he must remain for observation for the rest of the day.

Fine…Good…I go home and begin researching “allergic reactions to vaccines in dogs” and discover more than I ever wanted to know. I won’t bore you with the details, but his reaction is not uncommon, because…there are no controls, to speak of, on animal vaccines. In his case, they combined “5 vaccines” in one injection, so if there is a problem, you don’t know which one caused it. And, you could cook this shit up in your garage if you wanted…no real regulations, and no quality control. Also, there are some genetically engineered vaccines out there in the wild. Pre-certification.

My Vet is reputable, the best in town (per recommendations), and the closest to my house, but…I’m just saying.

Anyway, everything is cool now, but I admit, it scared the shit out of me.

He is a southern dog, and is being taught manners. He sent a mess of flowers today; to all the girls he snowed yesterday.

Good Dog!

Local newspaper editor Menhardt Buzasa said there had been an increase in the number of signs being stolen...

Danny “Lethal Dickhead” Glover

"We all know Reagan's legacy, from the Iran-Contra affair to the funding of the Nicaraguan military in which over 200,000 people died. The groundwork for the move steadily to the right happened with the Reagan administration. People want to elevate him to some mythic level; they have their own reason for doing that."

I’d like to cap his ass with his own “wheel gun”.

This guy is a traitor, and should be shot.

Same holds true for this piece of shit.

Here's the link.

Shamelessly ripped from Geoffrey.

May you Rest in Peace.

Click to enlarge

It's a beautiful day here. I'm drinking a fresh ground Kona / Costa Rican blend, and between sneak attacks from the Velocipuppy, reading and linking some great stuff.

Here's another good one, from Snooze Button Dreams.

Brazenly ripped from Jack.

...If you say you support our troops but you do not get involved, you do not understand the issues, you do not vote, then you are betraying the very principles for which our soldiers have fought and died and even today continue to fight and die to defend.

We call them "rights", but in the harsh reality of the world, these rights are not given, they are earned.

Read it all.

Strange.

I found this in the comments over at Gut Rumbles on this.

I'm downtown with this threatening sorta guy.

Read this: The Narcissism of Liberals.

Another one from the Inbox.

Subject: FW: Iraqi "wedding party" details

A great big "thank you" should go out to our wonderful, nonpartisan, American press/media for their concise, accurate coverage of the war in Iraq.

"Wedding Party" Details below.

This morning just wasn’t the same…for my new puppy that is. He went to sleep in a backyard where the only dangers are being dive-bombed by a couple of Central North Carolina Mocking Birds, or a hungry Red-Tailed Hawk. No problem, right?

Wrong…this morning he awoke to a changed landscape. Big ass mushrooms had grown overnight, and he didn’t know what to think of ‘em. He looked at me with that “WTF is this, these weren’t here yesterday” look; and proceeded to bark for the first time. Man he was confused, and pissed.

The attack was on, and I must say, the mushrooms lost.

This new puppy of mine, makes me smile. Actually, he makes me laugh my ass off.

You know, I have a problem with the politics of France. A huge problem, but that’s for another post.

I’ve traveled in France, and it is beautiful. I’ve been to Cherbourg, Parris, Lyon, Bordeaux, and the Mustard city, to name a few. I’ve seen many small villages, and more grape vines than you can imagine. The south of France is magnificent.

Fontainebleau is incredible, and the Louvre…you could ride horses down the halls. Very impressive.

The drive to Switzerland through the French Alps will take your breath away. Man, that’s some tall hills.

I have many stories about my travels, not only in France. Maybe I should commit them to this blog, that is, if I could write. I could produce volumes about France alone. I’m lucky I made it out of there.

Did I ever tell you about the time I was in Rudesheim…?

Jack, who is now living in France, has some great recent photos.

Remember, Sunday is the anniversary of one of the many times we�ve saved France�s ass. I don�t know about you, but I�m going frog gigging to celebrate.

Bwahahaha!

Bullshit, we're not talking about respect here. Lets get our priorities straight.

To be effective, you must blend in. I've picked them out on flights, and if I can, a bad guy can. They are SO obvious.

..."In an era when "dressing down" is the traveler's creed, air marshals must show up in jackets and ties, hair cut short, bodies buffed, shoes shined..."

..."Officials with the Federal Air Marshal Service, however, defended their sartorial standards. "Professional demeanor, attire and attitude gain respect," spokesman David M. Adams said. "If a guy pulls out a gun and he's got a tattoo on his arm and [is wearing] shorts, I'm going to question whether he's a law enforcement officer..."

Who cares, the guy in shorts with the tattoo has the gun, and you have to respect that.

You must be as inconspicuous as possible.

Anyway, here's the article.

WASHINGTON (AP) - Jose Padilla, a former Chicago gang member held as a terrorism suspect for two years, sought to blow up hotels and apartment buildings in the United States in addition to planning an attack with a "dirty bomb" radiological device, the government said Tuesday.

The plot thickens: It was later determined that he (they) wanted to “do” high rise apartment buildings by renting a couple of apartments in each; sealing ‘em off, filling ‘em up with natural gas, and detonating ‘em with a explosive device after 24 hours. Man, that is a lot of gas, and would be easy to do with a little training, and some planning. Just mask, or block, the smell.

Anyway, we’ve got to start thinking “outside the box”

We should never underestimate this scum.

From The Inbox:

If General George Patton were alive and President of the USA, this might have been his Fireside Speech!

Senator Kennedy's statements go beyond mere partisanship and disagreement over the reasons for the war.

Click here.