Dude, I can't believe you're bitching about that. I'm a frickin' genus of flower. I mean, talk about lame. I'd love to be a backwards transporting universe-altering poltergeist.

I like yours better, I got:

Chickie --
[noun]:

A lewd street performer

Oh, actually, I am "A person of questionable sanity who starts their own cult." Um, that's not entirely untrue.