I don't usually post about food, but since what I do post about is not palatable to most people, here goes.

Quick Meal

My wife is off working her ass off making money some change, so I’m on my own. I’m hungry. This is all about the prep.

Turn on the oven. Max temperature.

Take the oldest, hottest ass, jar of pre-opened Habanero salsa out of the refrigerator. Ignore the date and place it on top of the stove. The date doesn’t matter in situations like this. What matters is room temperature.

Throw a stick of butter up there with it. Who cares about the mess? While you’re at it, butter a couple slices of bread. Doesn’t matter what kind…just so it doesn’t have any penicillin growing, you’ll be ok. On second thought, you might need the antibiotic.

Heat a French cast iron skillet, with the butter, which should be soft by now. Even if the butter has been sitting out for a couple of days, you’ll be OK. Trust me.

Locate and finely dice whatever vegetables you can find. These will not be in the crisper, but you can find ‘em. I always do. Throw ‘em in the French skillet.

At this point, it’s a good idea to turn all the fans on high.

Beat all the eggs you can find. It doesn’t matter how many cartons they were in, and neither does the date. Trust me.

Throw the bread in the oven.

Cheese lasts forever, so just grab some. Don’t worry about the mold. Mold is flavor

When the skillet is so hot you can’t get close to it, throw all that shit in, and stand back.

After the fans suck all the smoke up, pour it on the toast, and eat it right off stove.

One huge benefit of this “quick meal” is that, by using a French skillet, you have no dishes to clean. Just throw it away.

It really is good.

If you don’t hear from me tomorrow, I’m dead…

***UPDATED***