More from the Inbox:

Dear Sam:

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Ft. Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two brothers. One currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville, TX for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time "working girl". All things considered, my problem is this: I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who supports John Kerry for President?

All I can say is "your parents need a bigger crop"

BwahHaHaHa!!!!!