You must read this. She is Downtown.

Via: Key Monroe

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: MAY I INTRODUCE TO YOU THE THEME PARK OF THE NEXT GENERATION (ASSUMING THAT THE SOCIALISTS IN DEMOTURD CLOTHING HAVE THEIR WAY):

S P R O U T W O R L D
A VISION, by Key Monroe.
Come one. Come all to the magical land of tofu and bean sprouts, where animals roam free rather than lay gutted and deep-fried on a platter before you. We have many lands of promise that have been built with love for your enjoyment.

ENVIRO-LAND
Come see what the world would be like without the oppression of mankind constantly bearing itself down upon it. Explore the forests that haven't been touched in decades. Experience thick underbrush, swamps brimming with mosquito larvae, areas so rich with oil that it bubbles at the surface, wildlife so thick that it costs taxpayers a million a day to keep the boogers alive. For some reason, if we don't feed them, then we find dead, mangled, carcasses laying about everywhere drawing flies and buzzards, and the stench....Oh, the stench! But, no worries, all that is taken care of. So come and join us, bring your boots, and guys, leave the bug spray at home. It's bad for Enviroland.

THE LAND OF INDOCTRINATION
A favorite. This is where our precious youth learns everything that they need to know to carry this beautiful legacy on to the next generation. We must thank our programmers for giving up their own beliefs long ago and dedicating themselves to this noble cause.

PEACE-KEEPING LAND
We are most proud of our success in this arena. Countries and people alike are coming together to discuss their problems rationally. Ambassadors are a thing of the past. They have been replaced by certified counselors that are teaching the world how to communicate. Weapons have become an antique. In fact, if you'd like to view one, we have several museums that showcase primitive weaponry.

SMARMYLAND
Meet our great country's leaders. Enter the smarmy gates and come face to face with the individuals who are responsible for creating the paradise that you see before you. (Please note: if you hear moaning, please wait until the intern leaves the room before entering. Thank you.)

LAND OF STANDARDIZED HEALTHCARE
Finally, a land where everyone has the same medical benefits. Now everyone suffers equally under a new plan that gets us all a little nostalgic when we think of the good 'ol HMO. Discover the program that sent the Canadian doctors RUNNING back to the border with many American doctors on their heels. Meet the ONLY two dozen doctors left in the country, and please, do not feel obligated to give to their children's college fund. Yes, they ask everyone.

ABORTIONLAND
Well, the name says it all. Come here and watch our county's women exercise their right to choose. But please, make reservations early. We have precious few doctors and limited space in the viewing area.

LAND OF INFLATION
The most fun of the park! Take a ride on the yo-yoing economy, or belt yourself in to the coaster of doom!*

Enjoy all of this with your FREE admission to Sproutworld. Don't worry about a thing! All of the fun that you can stomach--for that matter all of the sprouts that you can stomach are ON US! That's because we've had you bent over a barrel for years now until we finally managed to finance our billions a day project. (We apologize if this has affected your standard of living.)

*Sorry, we've had to temporarily close the coaster. It seems that a rebel brat from Georgia escaped from the School of Indoctrination, stole a bazooka from the Museum of Antiquities, fired it into Enviroland, turned it into an inferno, and sent the overpopulated animal kingdom scurrying into the Land of Inflation where they met their demise on the tracks of the coaster of doom! We apologize for the delay. We are sending our clean-up crew--who make as much as the doctors do, because that's only fair--to the scene, and the guts and ash should be out of your way in no time. I hope everyone realizes that this is the fault of that damn rebel. We had everything set up perfectly.